Helluin (auronlu) wrote,



Why is it that every time I think this sinus infection is gone, it comes back again?

I'm not the best candidate for antibiotics. I'd been a little careless this last week or so -- I think I've missed a few doses. I got a refill before going to New York because I was almost-but-not-quite-cured, and wanted to make absolutely certain it was gone. I hope I haven't bred the uber-bug by forgetting to take both doses some days. You know the problem. If you take antibiotics but don't quite manage to kill off all the bacteria, the ones that survive are the hardy, resistent onces. Mini-Darwinism.


So I fell over go boom at 6 this evening, utterly exhausted, woke up at 9 and had dinner late, stayed up (barely) for two hours because with my GI problems I'm not allowed to lie down until 2 hours after eating, and then... sniffly, niagra falls, sore throat, bad tummy, feeling awful, and that anxiety attack of oh-gods-I'm-sick-and-I'm-by-myself-and-what-if-it-gets-bad?! that I get every single damned time I get sick now, because of that thing that happened to me two years ago that nearly killed me. It's a stupid panic reaction. But those nights were so awful, so awful, that I have an unreasoning fear of becoming physically helpless now.

I'll probably be fine in the morning, but I've had insomnia all night. Most annoying thing is I can't even seem to write, suddenly. I was feeling kinda down this week and the writing was helping a lot. Now it's not.

I tried to start bailing out the answering machine and got through ten messages. Meh.

I hate it when I flip from feeling fairly good about things to feeling like an utterly useless scum, and sick.

And in other news, LJ is being insane again: my friends page is only showing posts a day or two after they're posted, but if I go to "My LJ", the most current posts are there.

Tags: stuff: personal chatter

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