So. I didn't get far with the ship manifesto because I had too many interruptions and/or was tired, but I wrote one more pyre_flies drabble, Cold Shoulder, and had a fit of obsessive compulsiveness (yes, cupcakemonster, laugh and point) smoothing out the writing in Till Death Do Us Part. I was goaded by a review on ff.net complaining that sometimes I had too much description, other times not enough, and the reader couldn't always understand it. Of course, he was 14. Maybe he was not getting the parts I was leaving up to the reader's imagination. I'm not sure my tweaks helped, but I feel more satisfied knowing it's not quite as half-assed.