Resurrection III is causing me problems.
I'm going into a dark place. The problem is, when I write erotica, I feel everything the characters feel. I put myself completely into their heads (or at least into one of them; I'm sure you can tell whom). I'm doing this as catharsis and stress release and enjoyment. As soon as I start getting into disturbing, painful, and unpleasant trauma, I have to take it into my own soul, and it pops up in dreams and leaves fingerprints on me for days afterwards. That makes writing N/C very troubling for me. Moreover, I don't really like it when fanfic writers put their favorite characters through hell and break them. Broken, they are no longer the characters one loved.
My muse is headed down a dark path, and yet it's very hard to write this plot without doing serious damage to Lulu. I want her strong. But how strong is she?
I guess I pushed Auron to the limit in the last one, so there's a precedent. I hadn't really expected to be putting them through hell, I'd meant for these to be a joyous celebration of life and pelasure in the teeth of death!