Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

final Fantasy I playthrough (5)

Once again, thanks to [community profile] moogle_university for inspiring this recap! Final Fantasy I Playthrough past episodes: Intro | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 Meta: D&D roots of FF [INTERLUDE] ______ Final Fantasy I Playthrough, Episode 5: "Ninja Wizards" Flush with the discovery of our shiny new airship, Momo embarks on a world tour at high velocity... Rei: *bleeerrrrrrgh* Nina: I thought only ninjas got airsick. Momo: *buzzing around like a caffeinated bee* What's that? And that? And oooooh, over there! Spoo: *hangs on for dear life* We fetch up in the town of Onrac on the NW continent. The first resident we meet is a bit odd... Rei: *dazed* Uh...look at your legs...sure thing, Bibi... Nina: Come again? Momo: Let's fly somewhere else. Spoo: *searches tea shop for Dramamine* Clues are acquired... Rei: His name is really Baggins, isn't it? Nina: Don't let Momo hear-- Momo: Something weird? Let's go buy it! Spoo: .oO(Hope it's not a ring.) "Foreshadowing, your key to quality literature..." Rei: Okay, this is starting to weird me out. Nina: I begin to sense a theme. Momo: What, are yours bionic? Cool! Spoo: ... This town is basically one big tips guide... Rei: Aha! Now I get it... mermaids! Let's try it! Nina: No, Rei. She says the barrel's not airtight. We'll drown. Momo: So? We're the Warriors of Light! We can walk on lava, so why can't we breathe underwater? Spoo: ... We meet a friendly dragon who looks awfully like Spoo's dragon form in BoF III... Rei: Hey. Didn't that opening FMV show Spoo fighting with a big, red dragon? This bloke seems awfully polite. Nina: Shhhhh! Tact, Rei. Momo: A Citadel of Trials sounds like fun! Especially if it's Bevelle...you know, all the boop de boop music with the techno panels and glyph spheres? Spoo: *moans softly* After collecting all clues, we head to a nearby waterfall mentioned by one of the villagers... Rei: Tell me again why we care that somebody saw "some kind of mechanical creature" down here? Nina: Do you need to ask? Momo: Giant robot! I knew we were missing something in this game! Spoo: ... After yet more Kee Bats and a mob of Nightmare horse monsters that "Snort" snot on us, we find the robot... Rei: Uh...sure...whatever...can I sell it? Nina: No, Rei. It's a plot coupon. We'll probably need it later. Momo: Robot! Wait! Don't self-destruct! I'll take you home and give you a nice oil bath and ... *sobs* Spoo: ... Fortified with Dramamine, we reboard the airship and eventually discover the village of Gaia far to the NE... Rei: Wow, these villagers hand out tons of plot clues just like in Onrac. Wish we could've come here sooner. Nina: YOU CAUGHT A FAERIE AND SOLD IT INTO SLAVERY? *STEAM COMES OUT OF EARS* Momo: Uh...oh... Nina was winged in our original gameverse, wasn't she? Spoo: *sweatbeads* Remarks from various villagers lead us to a desert caravan, where we discover the "something weird" that Underhill is selling... Rei: "Bottled faerie." Guess we're too late. Wonder what it tastes like? Nina: REI!!!!!!! Momo: Yipes. Let's, uh, take her back to Gaia, shall we? Spoo: ... Back in Gaia Village, Nina pops the cork... Rei: Yep, that's us! *thumps own chest* Nina: Like YOU cared what happened to the poor, defenseless little... Momo: Shush. Hey, look, she gave us a plot coupon. Something called "OxyAle." Betcha that'll help with the whole barrel-drowning-thingie. Spoo: ... However, on the way back to the gal with the leaky submarine, we get distracted among the Swiss Cheese Islands... Rei: Bally weird place for gophers. Nina: Whack-a-Mole Archepelago? Momo: Or maybe it's the Sea of Holes? ♪We all live in a barrel submarine...♬ Spoo: *facepalm* The holes prove to be Cosmo Canyon Mt. Gagazet Dragon Caves, inhabited by our token noble warrior nonhuman race... Rei: Honor? Does that come with a cash reward, by any chance? Nina: Rei... *sighs* Momo: Is this the Citadel of Trials thingie? Great! I'm good with puzzles! Spoo: *twirls sword hopefully* Unfortunately, we trip into a hole that is NOT a dragon cave on the next island over... Rei: Prince, huh? You mean Elfboy? Nina: Spoo, wait! I don't think this is the Citadel of Trials! Momo: Too late. Spoo: *dashes in, hoping to impress the prince* The sign over the door actually read, "Hellfire Chasm" ... Rei: Well, 6hit. Nina: It's one of those dratted bonus dungeons. Momo: Don't worry! We're the Warriors of Light! We're inflammable! Spoo: *still doesn't think that means what she thinks it means* Bizarrely, when we drag ourselves out of the heat and up a staircase, we find ourselves here... Rei: Huh? Well, you're not gettin' ours! Nina: The map still shows we're in Hellfire Chasm. Momo: Ooo! It's one of those TARDIS dungeons again! Spoo: *totally confused* We blunder around with our canoe, but... Rei: Guys, you do realize that we left the airship back in the Swiss Cheese Islands? Nina: And we're surrounded by mountains! I haven't seen a cave or hole or escape route anywhere, have you? Momo: Oh, well, something's bound to turn up... Spoo: ... In the unknown desert... Rei: What the? Nina: Well, we've tried everything else... Momo: LORD, SEND US AN AIRSHIP! HELP US IN OUR NEED, SAINT CID! Spoo: ... Cue dramatic Uematsu soundtrack... Rei: Well, don't that just beat all. Nina: *sighs* I'm not even going to try to figure out the laws of physics here. Momo: Aww, baby comes when it's called. Aren't you a good widdle airship? Yes, you are! Spoo: ... After flying around for a bit, we discover a suspicious hole... Rei: Does that lead where I think it leads? Nina: Most likely. Momo: Time and Random Bonus Dungeons in Space! It's a TARBDIS! Spoo: ... Back in the land of lava tunnels, we find the Blue Flame of Optional Bonus Bossdom... Rei: Oh, well, at least the gloating's cute. Nina: Scarmiglione. From FFIV, right? Momo: This isn't gonna be pretty, is it? Spoo: *twirls sword* One tough boss battle later... Rei: We did it! We actually beat the sucker! Nina: Well done, everybody! Momo: PHEAR THE POWER OF MY ALMIGHTY THUNDAGA! Spoo: *acrobatic hair flip, strikes a pose* However... Rei: Um...guys? He's still gloating... Nina: I have a bad feeling about this. Momo: INCOMING! Spoo: *For the PRINCE!* Here we go again... Rei: Well, 8hit. Nina: *Diaga!* *Diaga*! Momo: *burns through masses of MP* Spoo: *expires nobly* Defeated, our heroes wake up groggy and bruised, back in the Swiss Cheese Islands... Rei: Man, what a hangover. Must've been some party... Nina: *groans* I hate random bonus dungeons. Momo: MEDIC! Spoo: ... After flying back to the Inner Sea to restock supplies and take a well-earned rest at Cornelia Inn... Rei: Break out the 'smores, and let's go camping! Nina: Why are the important dungeons always ten jillion miles from any landing place and in the middle of a swamp? Momo: Citadel of Trials, here we come! Spoo: ... Inside... Rei: Uhhh... this throne we're supposed to sit on... is it gonna burn our tushies? Nina: Rei, you really aren't very good at this "courage" business. Momo: *sits on throne* *transporter sparkle* Whee! WHEE! WHEE! Teleport pad maze! It's even better than Bevelle's! I'm totally loooooost! Let's do the timewarp agaiiiiiin! Spoo: *dizzy* After a breezy hour of random teleportation, monster battles and getting snorted on by half a dozen Night Mares... Rei: *looks in chest* That's our prize? Spoo: ... Momo: ... Nina: *weakly* Didn't some dragon say it might not be what we'd expect? Rei: So are you gonna tell the audience what's in there? Nina: I...forgot to take a screencap. Momo: Nice excuse. We return our Dungeon Completion Token to King Bahamut... Rei: *puffs chest* Yep! Call me Rei van Ratsbane! Nina: *stares* Momo: Probably not a coincidence. FFXII is chock-full of callouts to old Final Fantasy games. Spoo: *hopes prince hears about this* Rei: Er... that was just a joke, your Highness. Actually, I'd really like to be called NINJA WIZARD! Nina: *perks up* Hey, settle down, Rei. I think we've just stumbled upon... Momo: "TAKE A LEVEL IN BADASS" TIME! Spoo: *flexes* *shimmery flash* Spoo: *looks fabulous* Momo: Hey, wow, I'm a wizard! Nina: I'm a wizard, too! Rei: But you're not a ninja! *dances around* I'm a Ninja! Thief skills suck. But I'm a @%$@# NINJA! We'll leave Rei to celebrate his new badassitude. Tune in next time, when we attempt to locate more Crystals to reboot! UPDATE: Part 6 is posted. Go here to carry on the glorious quest!
This entry was originally posted at http://auronlu.dreamwidth.org/218186.html, where it has comment count unavailablecomments.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 9th, 2013 09:56 pm (UTC)
OMG! Best LotR icon EVER!

And the dialogue - gaaaa! Very well encapuslating how I felt as I played FF1. Enjoying this!
Jan. 9th, 2013 10:32 pm (UTC)
Hee! It was very popular in LOTR fandom about ten years ago, along with "they're taking the hobbits to isengard" and "borormir's imaginary phone" and "boromir's catapult." (why yes, I find ALL the stupid stuff in any fandom.)

i'm keenly aware that the iPad version is "easy mode" compared to the original, so I'm missing out on the nailbiting aspect of the game, but it's still a lot of fun.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Lilia Ahner