March 5th, 2006


"This Is My Story"

We all have our secrets.


Mild-mannered academic by day, moderator of a delightful "family-friendly" fandom community where the children may play without being troubled by sex and adult issues and netstalkers going bump in the night, I find no outlet for one of my many and varied interests:

Adult fanfiction.

That will not be ALL this journal is about, but I decided it was time to set up a little nook where I could just talk, without offending my friends who don't share my interests, or scaring the kiddlybeans who don't need to know that their teacher/role model may take a break to write a lurid sex scene for the joy of it.

First things first.

My current obsession: Auron and the peculiarly-named Lulu from the Final Fantasy universe. I liked them. Their characters had strengths, flaws, depths, complexities, angsts and quirks that interested me. They're both very hot. Hence my new time-wasting project: Helluin's Auron / Lulu FFX Shrine. [ETA: Moved 9/09 - The Auron/Lulu Shrine] It contains links to good fanart I've found, photomanips I've made playing with them, and links to the general-audience and adult fanfic I've written about them so far.

NOTE. I post my explicit stories on, for one reason: parental controls.

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ETA: Okay, now LJ actually has an "adult" flag one can put on individual entries. I'm going back through and flagging accordingly.

So then.

Who thinks Lulu is the hottest thing since Princess Leia in that silly bikini in return of the Jedi?


So what does "Lulu" mean, anyway?

She asks, too lazy to go look it up in name dictionaries.

I had two very large problems with this character. Okay, three.

I see her as a rather formidable young woman, strong-willed, somewhat sour and prickly, and frighteningly dangerous in battle. (Possibly I boosted her magic a bit earlier than some people do.) She seems a cool cookie who isn't alarmed or upset by much, any more than Auron is. "So together", as Rikku complained. Yet Lulu is a silly name. It sounds like a toy poodle.


When I first started writing all the fanfic that's been pouring out of me, I steadfastly refused to write "Lulu". I wrote "Lu" instead. Hence Auronlu. I've gotten used to it now, but "Lulu" still feels a little weird.

The other problem is the plush toys, for the same reason. I do not need my scary badass Dark Mage of Doom chanelling her power through a Pokémon, Beanie Baby, or other gratuitously cute fuzzy object, thankyou. However, I had a discussion about this on Adultfanfiction's forums that helped me get a little better grip on this; they're like the Shinto nature-spirits that show up in Miyazaki films. Okay, I grok. Spirits come in cute packages. And dark mages come in travel-inappropriate boob-baring corsets, never getting sunburned even in the Calm Lands.

I still can't bring myself to mention the cutsey things when writing Lu in battle. She casts fireballs. A plush toy doesn't. Okay?

And yeah, last but not least, I can't pretend I don't enjoy looking at her physical attributes, but I do wish that they weren't so gratuitously jiggly. I object to the deliberate, "look, here are my GINORMOUS WOBBLY TITS!" victory pose when she lands a critical hit and vaporizes a bad guy to a smoking cinder. They are perfectly adequate tits, but at that point, I want a badass comment, and possibly a look of withering disdain and nonchalance. I have a sinking feeling the fanboys are being invited to enjoy her tits, and not the character. This irks me. The character comes first; being totally droolworthy is icing on the cake. Auron's not very attractive (or at least I think he looks like an old shoe) and he's a fabulous character.

Whoops, that's enough posting for the day!

But one last thing.

Dear Square, if I buy FFX-2, I'm going to enjoy bits of it and be horribly horribly disappointed by having everyone reduced to Barbie Dolls. Had you done that to Lulu, I would have been forced to destroy something. I may still have to buy it, just to get a little more backstory for fanfic writing purposes. That means I'm going to have to watch Lulu with Wakka.

No love.