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I am sick and sad and would like a minific. Would anyone care to tackle this one? All lengths and crack accepted.

"Faris, Fran and Fang walk into a bar..."

This entry was originally posted at http://auronlu.dreamwidth.org/183456.html, where it has comment count unavailablecomments.


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 22nd, 2011 05:08 am (UTC)
Faris, Fran, and Fang walk into a bar and meet a pirate named Balthier. Faris giggles, which is totally not what a pirate does, but she's drunk by this point and doesn't care. Besides, it's a nice growly giggle.

"Think we should invite him to our F-Fest?"

Fang frowns. "He doesn't meet the requirements."

"Who cares? He's cuuuute!"

Okay, so Faris was hammered. She would deny using a multiple vowel 'cute' the next morning, but she was determined to have the pretty lad in her fornication fiesta.

"Cute? Since when does being cute mean that one can participate in...oh god, he's coming over. Who made eye contact?! Who's ass am I gonna have to kick?"

Fran sips her mai-tai in a very bunny-fied fashion and smiles. "Trust me darling, his name begins with F too. A double Ff, if it makes you feel any better. We'll not be breaking any rules."


Okay, so it's not much, but I can't have you sick and sad. You're much too sweet for that and I won't have it.


Feel better, eh?
Sep. 23rd, 2011 06:11 am (UTC)
Lucky Balthier. Well, he's ffflaming, so we'll permit him into the piratical conffab.

And thank you!
Sep. 22nd, 2011 08:28 am (UTC)
how about this FFX one:

It was dinner time at the Luca city diner. A rubbery little hypello bussed the table next to mine and I saw the Final Fantasy headliners piling in through the door to get a bite to eat between takes.

Lulu was wearing fluffy bedroom slippers, her hair was in curlers and she carried a bunny-shaped mog, but she looked much more approachable than usual. They pulled up chairs and began to unwind, except for Rikku, who wandered around the restaurant, watching the televised blitz game and chatting with other customers.

Auron immediately ordered a bottle and drank from it, ignoring the glass delivered with it. Tidus pulled out a pair of reading glasses and buried himself in reading what looked like a trashy romance novel. Yuna swept in behind the others, signing autographs in a condescending manner. She wore a wide-brimmed straw hat to ‘save her complexion from the sun’ was complaining about the heat, the director and the attention that the others in the team were receiving.

Wakka, meanwhile, had pulled over his chair and was trying to convince me to restart the game and pay more attention to his development this time. ‘More hit point nodes, ya?’ he said. ‘You need to go back and get that ‘break hit point limit’ item for me. What does Auron need it for, anyway.”

Wakka gestured over to where Auron was was starting a second bottle and asked, ‘Does he look like he’s feeling any pain, mon? I have functional nerve endings, and,’ his voice lowered to confidential tones, ‘we all know he’s dead. So what does he need the extra hit points for anyway? It’s not like he’s not coming back, ya?”
Sep. 23rd, 2011 06:13 am (UTC)
"Lulu was wearing fluffy bedroom slippers, her hair was in curlers "

*falls to floor* er... let me take 5 minutes to recover so I can read the rest of this. Advantage of being sick: everything is very funny.

Aww, poor Wakka.

Yes, you got 'em all!

ALthough thanks to Soldier of Spira, I'm pretty sure that trashy romance novel was penned by Rikku about herself and Auron. Save me, the Aurikku crazies have finally infected me that far.

Thank you, too. :)
Sep. 24th, 2011 12:36 am (UTC)
Glad it amused. That really IS one of the big arguements my mental versions of the FFX gang get into when I replay [and replay and replay...] FFX. The always vital question of who is going to get the break hp limit item.

[I hold off and off on making it - while Auron, Wakka and frequently Rikku argue the merits of getting it. It's usually whoever gets closest to 9999 first -> and what track they are on. Yep, that's me, counting hit point nodes.]
Sep. 24th, 2011 04:48 pm (UTC)
With me it's whom to give the fortune spheres /luck spheres.
Auron so that he crit-hits more often, and/or armor break and magic break are more successful?
Or Rikku, so I can steal more stuff?

I usually settle on the latter.

Unfortunately, I know FFX so well that unless I'm going for monster arena bosses, I almost don't bother to do any leveling or grinding anymore. Apart from Yunalesca herself and her two "pets," and maybe that mechanical giant thing the Guado throw at the party on the far side of the Calm Lands, there are no required bosses that give me any trouble if I run straight through the game without leveling or equipment upgrades other than items found on the way. In fact, I enjoy doing that to make the battles a little more challenging.
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