Three things are bugging me.
1. Crusaders/warrior monks
"Crusaders" are capitalized, but "warrior monks" aren't. Capitalization is very consistent in FFX: summoners, maesters, aeons, fayth, pyreflies; Chamber of the Fayth; Four Maesters of Yevon. All of those adhere to the standard practice of treating a thing or vocational designation as a regular noun, but official organizations as a proper noun. I think that's why warrior monks are not capitalized; it's a term like engineers or sailors. Whereas The Crusaders are an official entity, like The Marines.
It drives me nuts, though. I write a sentence referring to the Crusader and warrior monk (Elma, Pacce), and it looks like I've screwed up.
2. 'Lai
Did I screw up? Does canon ever use 'Lai for Baralai's nickname? I have the feeling I need to go back through the last 10 chapters and replace Bar, but I'm not sure whether 'Lai is fanon or canon. I'm seeing it a lot in other writers' stories (to the point that it now sounds more natural to me, but I hate retconning.)
3. Baralai, I'm sorry!
He's one of my favorite characters, and I fear I've made him rather darker than he is in canon. He's such a sweet, noble, almost naive young man in canon. I had good reasons for tarnishing his squeaky-clean wholesomeness, but I feel bad about it.
Okay, if I'm going to spend tonight writing, I'd better WRITE.
