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I have finally found kink.

<Overshare>I never could figure out what people meant by "kinks."

I have finally discovered two in myself.

1) Magic. I love sensual/empathic descriptions of being connected to, channeling, using magic, particularly elemental, nature-derived magic. I used to sit out on my porch and watch thunderstorms...even hurricanes...roll in. I wrote gobs of bad poetry about the way the wind would move through the forest, the flare of the lightning, the rain sheeting down, the way these 150-foot oaks and maples would bend and move like muscles of some enormous beast. I'd call in the storm, call on the elements, call on my OFCs and dragons and unicorns and phoenixes and all that archetypal crap. I had no idea what I was doing, I just...did it. Rain on my skin, snow on my face... I loved it.
Later I fell head over heels in love with Hawaii after watching the volcano erupting, the lava creeping down the hills at night. And even now, I have a guilty pleasure in watching wildfires. I love experiencing earthquakes. "Hi, Mom!" Yeah. Heck, that's probably why the old MYST/RIVEN series hooked me so much: the landscapes were numinous.
I think nearly every piece of erotica I've written involves the elements -- magic or water, or at least a very present forest -- in one way or another.

2) Hair. Braids. I miss getting my hair brushed by someone else. Maybe it's because my scalp is about the only part of me that doesn't hurt. Anywhere else, the touch is a) pleasant but I'm having to block out accompanying aches and pains (not necessarily the spot being touched, but arthritic back, hips and knees make just about any position uncomfortable) or b) easing pain, which is not quite the same thing as stimulation. Also, I just love long hair. Especially braids.

Which, of course, explains why I'm permanently stuck on Lulu.


( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 14th, 2009 06:02 am (UTC)
well, since we're sharing.
Magic is a huge kink of mine, and it's one of the reasons I love your fic so very much--you do beautiful things with it, both from a meta perspective and from a "prrrr, yes, ice during sex is quite fun" perspective.

My other big kink in FF games is status effects used for not quite the intended purpose; Blind and Silence are fantastic fun without the pesky problems of dislodged blindfolds or the issue of setting a gag correctly (nor do the spells pull hair, which both of the mundane options do). Immobilize has all manner of fun implications. Etc.

I will sit still for hours if someone wants to pet or brush my hair. Mmmmmm.
Sep. 14th, 2009 06:08 am (UTC)
Re: well, since we're sharing.

I've also been known to use Hastega as a convenient way to prolong a quickie: to the rest of the party, they've been gone 15 minutes, but for the participants, it was 45!
Sep. 14th, 2009 06:15 am (UTC)
Re: well, since we're sharing.
P.S. Someday I must tempt you to read LHAD.

There's a lot of other stuff in it, but the original seed that spawned the whole saga was the image of Lulu ...enjoying herself as Sin...reveling in it, taking a certain professional pride in it, even while mourning the destruction she's causing.

The Hawaiian goddess Pele heavily influences my vision of Lulu.

Edited at 2009-09-14 06:19 am (UTC)
Sep. 14th, 2009 01:59 pm (UTC)
Re: well, since we're sharing.
It's definitely on my list of things to read! I know I read the first....six chapters or so when you had first started posting it, but what I'm planning now is to just take a big block of time, sit down, and do the entire thing in one go. But yes, this is certainly relevant to my interests. :D
Sep. 14th, 2009 07:09 am (UTC)
Meh. I don't understand why everything anyone likes ever has to be a "kink." It's just a dilution of the word and, in my opinion, born out of ideas that run in fandom about any kink being superior and anything vanilla being inherently bad.
Sep. 14th, 2009 09:24 am (UTC)
You are certainly entitled to your opinion!

But a) I wasn't ranking anything as superior/inferior-- that would require me to be comparing my tastes to some other point of reference
b) I don't see how "vanilla" relates my post. I suppose you could label the hair-kink as "vanilla", but...why bother?
c) Possibly I still don't understand what others mean by "kink." I mean something rather deeper and more complex -- in a Jungian sense -- than "what someone really likes". However, I'm not so much interested in defining and debating labels, as exploring/evoking/expressing the thing labeled.

Does that make sense?
Sep. 14th, 2009 03:35 pm (UTC)
Er, well, I wasn't really intending to bash you or whatever. Mostly I was just making a point about fandom's relationship with kink (and how it shapes its participants understandings of what does and does not constitute as kink). I realize that you weren't ranking anything, I was mostly just commenting on a pattern I've seen. Yes, there are things we find ourselves drawn and attached to that extend beyond "what someone really likes," but what I'm reading here it doesn't seem like either has an inherent sexualization. I mean, they can both be present in erotica, which would probably lead to increased enjoyment but I don't understand why they need to be broadly classified as kink and I tend to point the finger at fandom culture for that, which was what I was grumbling about.

Anyway tl;dr no offense meant!
Sep. 14th, 2009 05:54 pm (UTC)
Meh. Sorry. I reacted strongly to the finger-pointing, while still at the same time seeing what you mean.

I've had a bucketload of analytical psychology and depth psychology and all that crap, and I had much the same reaction to Freud (or not so much Freud, as the people who came after Freud): it's not all about the sex! Some powerful feelings, obsessions, complexes are non-sexual.

Yet there is at the same time a flavor of...passion? that can only be described as sexual. Sure, those two things I identified as "kinks" affect me in non-sexual contexts. But I suddenly realized they are not only nearly always present in my erotic writing, but they are nearly always the most important, major, or at least a powerful source of sexual stimulation. They're common threads, underlying notes, like the drone of a bagpipe or the drum-beat in most rock music. Whereas sexual positions, acts, the gender of the partners vary a lot more in my writing.

Anyway, not to make a mountain out of a molehill, it's just that I think maybe, while I have shared your POV about "What the heck is a kink? It doesn't exist!", I am dimly grasping that there could be something in one's erotic proclivities that is bedrock, a touchstone, a catalyst, a core. And it may not necessarily be something that is literally part of the sexual act or experience; it just has to be something that evokes/inspires/triggers/arouses/enhances the feelings of that experience.

Edited at 2009-09-14 05:58 pm (UTC)
Sep. 14th, 2009 06:07 pm (UTC)
I think I too have been really focusing on the elemental and nature aspects in writing, too. I think it started with you when you started out on your Auron/Lulu stuff a few years ago. I got more into after reading Mists of Avalon and a number of other books by Marion Zimmer-Bradley, not to mention a lot of extra-curricular reading on some Nordic mythology, which has to do with a Saxon character I'm writing for an LOTR-semi-smut group (it is like role playing... sorta LOL) and my buddy rhapsody11 has a character from old Britannia who ended up a companion to my Saxon (based of course in the dark ages of the Saxon invasion of the isles).
Sep. 15th, 2009 01:48 am (UTC)
Okay, the OP was triggered after I read Justira's little Ultima ficlet which was not, in fact, pr0n, except that everyone who read it reacted to it as such.

Now Tae's "Big Things Come in Small Packages" goes and adds materia to vibrators so as to apply various minor elemental spells.

Edited at 2009-09-15 01:48 am (UTC)
Sep. 15th, 2009 02:22 am (UTC)
Ah yes, I agree with the first one! I love nature and the elements. Anything to do with elemental magic, really, draws me in.

I take this as a good time to mention that I randomly came across your Lulu/Rikku erotica on adultff.net and loved it. Seriously, it's so difficult for me to find smut that I actually like. I'm working on a Lucil/Paine fanfic (yeah, weird couple, I know), and I'm very much into imagery and the 5 senses. Your two pieces (that Thunder Plains one was my favorite) really inspired me to be a better femmeslash writer. I really want to see more f/f love in fandom =( But as it's composed largely of straight females who only write for characters/pairings they're attracted to, it's rare. And I want to put more of it out there.

I read kink-fic sometimes, although I can be just as pleased by a really well written and emotionally appealing vanilla sex fic. Heck, in the Lucil/Paine fic I'm trying to set up the plot and having the two women understand each other before the attraction and sex is involved. I would love to show you an early draft if you're interested, although I'm far from finished because there's so much I want to explore between them. I have a love for rare pairings (seriously, am I the first person ever to enjoy this couple?) and minor characters, so I doubt it will get many reviews, but I want to try.

And Lulu really is grand. There is something delightful and sensual about her. She's definitely up there with my list of sexiest FF characters: Quistis, Paine, and Ashe are up there too.

Did I mention I also adore Myst/Riven? Definitely some of the most beautiful worlds ever, and I especially adore Riven-era Katran/Catherine. Those are some of my favorite games but since I got a Mac I can only play the newer ones. Myst III is still good, though.
Sep. 15th, 2009 02:44 am (UTC)

Feel free to send me drafts of Lucil/Paine. I'm not sure what help I'd be, and I'm a little spacey about checking email, but I'd very much enjoy seeing those two in a story.

I was a very early Myst fan-- I've still got an old PowerPC Mac around partly so I can play Riven (not that I have lately, but I loved it so).

Going up the elevator to meet Katran was the first time I ever had tears in my eyes watching any movie, playing any game, or reading any book. I was THAT moved by her, primarily through her writing, which was her magic. MYST was my main fanfic fandom for years, largely centering around Katran... "I can write dreams... and they are real." What a character. I also loved Atrus' grandma, who co-wrote MYST Island with Catherine. (I so love a game world where people write books that are portals to the places they describe.)

Edited at 2009-09-15 02:45 am (UTC)
Sep. 15th, 2009 03:44 am (UTC)
Butting in to say: I don't know that I've ever actually seen a Lucil/Paine fic, but I've always found the idea fascinating in theory. So I'd be really curious to see what you do with them together!
Sep. 15th, 2009 03:50 am (UTC)
Interesting observation, and one that definitely meshes well with the kind of characters and stories you write.

Myself, I have been more drawn to writing the warrior types in this fandom -- Paine, Auron, Nooj, Balthier in FF12 -- which is odd, because IRL I don't tend to be attracted to those sort of people at all. But something about writing their physicality appeals to me, perhaps because it is so different from what I'm drawn to in other places.
Sep. 15th, 2009 05:47 pm (UTC)
Ah, yesh.
I also am tugged to the warrior, but that doesn't pop into my smut so much...although I certainly borrow the metaphors of combat, which probably makes some people roll their eyes!

Writing physicality is very appealing; most of us are too stuck in our heads.

Your meta-fic on "Lulu is five" is what started the thread of this thought process, indirectly, since I didn't really see it until I noticed my reaction (and other people's, apparently) to justira's follow-up snippet exploring ultima.

Edited at 2009-09-15 05:48 pm (UTC)
Sep. 21st, 2009 09:22 pm (UTC)
I never was one to get 'into' storms. Something about the sky dropping down and screaming at the earth just scares the hell out of me. Wind, rain, scary shit like that, but that feel afterwards, that pull and that silence, when the world kind of seems like she's breathing again...yeah, I can understand what you mean.

And oh mercy yes, I know what you mean by getting your hair brushed. My hair is well past my waist now, so combing through this mess is one hell of a hassle, but having someone else brush it? My goodness. Lovely sensation. Very calming.

It sucks when I do take the time to braid it because my hair is blonde and people insist on yelling something stupid like "Rapunzel!" or "Hey, Brunhilde! Yo, ho, ho, ho!"


( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
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