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Love Her and Despair (34)

Father Zuke

Title: Love Her and Despair
Chapter 34: Yuna's Cloister
Final Fantasy X/X-2
Characters: Auron, Isaaru, Paine, Nooj, Pacce, Elma
PG-13 (Language)
Word Count: 3000
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Map of Pilgrimage - Links to All Chapters

Our Story So Far: Bevelle palace is in ruins and one of Isaaru's guardians is dead, thanks to a vengeful ghost. Now the survivors of the battle with Shuyin regroup at a house of healing.

"Ah! Sir Auron, there you are."

A crumbling drainage ditch was an unlikely destination for morning prayers. Yet there was no mistaking the green robe, high collar, and wide ceremonial band stitched with Yevon's signs from throat to knees. Yevon's toilet paper, Kinoc had called it, and died in it.

The priest climbed down into the muck. "Goodness gracious. I suppose even legendary guardians are mortal, aren't they? Not too mortal, though, I hope. Let me see." Humming to himself, he began to circle Auron, ignoring the stagnant water and blood wicking up the hem of his robes.

Mild healing magic lapped out from his hands in unseen ripples. A light drizzle pattered down, glazing the priest's bald head. The damp tasted of salt, not only from the breath of the harbor: there were tears in that rain, tears never shed by their owner when she had eyes to weep. The sour odor from the outflow pipe reeked of Sin and the living.

Auron gritted his teeth as bones shifted back into place, following the ley lines of the pyreflies. Breathing became easier, but his ribs still ground together like a sack of charcoal. He stared warily at the man shuffling around him. "Do I know you?"

"Zuke. A failed summoner. A madman too, perhaps. I dreamt I was to meet you here."

"Hmph." Auron's hand still burned as if he were gripping molten metal. What had Lulu done to him, flare crossed with bio?

"There. I fear that's the best I can manage. Can you stand? I must get you to Yuna's Cloister."

Auron groaned as Zuke helped him up: the priest's spell had not mended everything. "I need to reach the Chamber of the Fayth."

"I beg your pardon, sir guardian, but I was instructed to—" he coughed—"'thundaga your ass' if you did not come willingly."

"I...see." Auron glanced up at the sky, squinting. Did Lulu know about old friends trapped in the bowels of St. Bevelle?

There. Sin was lurking in the thunderheads, a dark shape embedded in a wall of gray cloud over the gutted husk of the palace. The tower was gone, but its image seemed to hang in mid-air, projected like a sphere recording onto the canvas of falling rain.

"Yevon preserve us!" Zuke drew Yevon's sign over his heart.

The sun began to break through, sending feeble shafts towards the phantom tower's peak. They pointed towards a gleam of white poised on the edge of a high balcony. Abruptly it dropped. Glyphs of light exploded outwards, magnifying the tiny human figure to aeon's size. They glimpsed a girl in a fluttering gown like a comet's plume, serene in her headlong plummet with her hands outstretched towards heaven.

"No!" Zuke took a step forward, rapt with horror. "Who...?"

Even Auron found himself transfixed: he had been too busy herding the rest of the party away to see Yuna's masterful performance when it happened. So had Lulu, for that matter, but she commanded an army of pyreflies now. They doted on memories.

The finale was brief but spectacular. A winged aeon came whirling down out of the clouds, a phoenix-like shape with wings the color of flame and shell. It swooped under the girl, catching and cradling her like a pearl on a velvet bed. They glided off together. The vision expanded, blurring at the edges, focused on the gazes of girl and aeon locked in soul's communion. As the mirage began to fade, Yuna turned and looked down upon the battered city with a solemn, cryptic expression that Auron suspected would soon find its way into temple portraits. The drizzle dwindled to a pale mist, then ceased. Sin vanished, taking the pyrefly-vision with her.

"It is a sign," Zuke said, wiping his eyes. "Did you see it? Did you see the Lady?"

"I saw Yuna." Auron scowled. He could already hear it in the man's voice: in fifty years, half of Spira would be praying "in Yuna's name." Lulu, what are you doing? You've been with Yu Yevon too long.

"Yes. Lady Yuna. Once again, the temples repudiate Spira's savior, while the common folk hail her. The Lady still intercedes on our behalf, blunting Sin's wrath—"

Auron hunched behind his collar. "And Lulu?"

"Guarding her still, I suppose... and troubling an old man's sleep." Zuke gave a weak laugh. "Forgive me, sir. You are hurt, and I'm sure these reminders of old friends are no great comfort."

Auron nodded, bracing himself against shooting pain as he reached for his sword lying in the muck. Perhaps one of the warrior monks would know Maester Baralai's means of reaching the lower levels of the palace. He needed more than cura, but he had to find Rikku: promises were all he had left.

He realized his error just before his knees gave way. His head swam when he bent for his sword. Dirty tiles rushed up to meet him. There was no aeon to catch him, but he barely felt it when he struck the ground.

"Nooj is a Crusader who sacrificed his own limbs in defense of the people of Spira! You will give him all the care due our honored veterans. Do I make myself clear?"

Soft-spoken as a rule, Isaaru turned heads as his grief-hardened voice cracked through the buzzing murmur of monks, nuns, and patients being shunted back to their rooms from the underground shelter. For a moment, the open square of Yuna's Cloister resembled a temple great hall with its rows of of wooden saints: every figure stopped, standing mute and astonished among close-trimmed topiaries, marble benches and ordered flower beds. Only the central fountain danced and chattered.

"Y-yes, Your Grace." The chastened monk bowed. "Captain Juno, if you'll follow me, please?"

"You'd better post a guard on Cid's room," Nooj said, leaning against Juno. "It sounds like they're looking for scapegoats."

"They're monks, not murderers, Nooj," Isaaru said, falling back to a lifeless whisper. "And I'm sure Lady Rikku is more than capable of defending her father while he sleeps. She, too, is a guardian."

"Isaaru," Juno said. "Get some rest. I'll survey the city and check in with Maester Shelinda, then report back. There's nothing more we can do until we hear from Maester Baralai. And...Pacce?"

The youth raised his head. He had not spoken since Elma dragged him into the elevator in Vegnagun's vault.

"Guard your brother."

His eyes welled up again, but he drew himself up in a passable salute.

"Oh. One other thing." She hitched Nooj's arm around her shoulders again and turned to Elma. "Speaking of maesters. You lost one, didn't you?"

The Crusader stiffened. "Yeah, why?"

"She's here. Bad dose of toxin, but alive. The S.S. Korra found her and Pacce on the tip of Western Isle. You're lucky the ship's captain was stupid enough to risk Sin's waters to bring Isaaru's evacuation order here faster."

Pacce stirred, jarred out of his stupor. "I'm sorry! S-Sin dropped us. I pulled Maester Lucil out of the water, but I c-couldn't wake her."

"Sorry?" Elma seized his shoulders, beaming with relief. "Don't be silly! You've just earned yourself a promotion. Just tell me where she is!"

"Um." He shook his head. "I'm s-sorry, I don't know which room—"

"Nevermind, kiddo, I'll find her. You look after Isaaru." She ruffled his hair, then turned to the summoner. "Sir, permission to—"

"Granted." The drawn lines of his face eased for a moment. "Go on, Commander. I'll check on her later, if you wish."

"Sir!" She gave Juno a minute nod and dashed off, flagging down one of the senior nuns and grilling her before rushing through an open archway.

Juno snorted and turned back to the monk who had been waiting on her and Nooj with an air of mounting desperation. "All right. Lead the way."

As she navigated the vaulted passageway around the courtyard, Juno was trailed by warrior monks eager to report in, covertly checking on their captain. Some were trying to catch a glimpse of her unusual charge. One veteran saluted "Deathseeker" as well as Juno. Nooj said nothing, content to watch her as she dispatched subordinates with clipped orders to different parts of the city.

There was a moment's awkwardness when she deposited him in a room, accompanied by the wide-eyed monk who stared fearfully at the artificial leg he chucked onto the bed.

"I'm not going anywhere," Nooj said with a tight smile. "If you bump into Shinra or Gippal, would you tell them to bring me some baling wire?"

Juno gave a curt nod, expression masked by her helm. "I'll...see you later."

His eyes softened. Juno left briskly.

Isaaru, meanwhile, had stayed rooted in place as the party dispersed. Healers, warrior monks and the wounded swirled around him and Pacce like two snags in a river. Isaaru set his hands on his brother's shoulders, steering him gently towards the central fountain. It contained yet another statue of the High Summoner, a figure of marble and glass poised atop a flowering pillar of water. Innocent, etherial, blissful, she seemed suspended in a Calm that she had not lived to see. The brothers contemplated her in silence, feeling cool spray on their faces.

"Lady Yuna," Pacce said finally. "D-do you think she came to send Maroda? Everyone saw her."

"I sent him myself, Pacce. Yet I do not doubt she helped guide him. That vision we saw, however...I believe it was Sin's doing. Sin is the Lady. And she, too, mourns one who is gone."


"I'll explain later." Isaaru collected himself with a sigh. "Come. I think we should heed Lady Rikku's example: find food, beds, and rest until there is news of Lord Baralai. Yes?"


"Your Grace! Your Grace!" A nun flying from the main entrance tripped over a planter and stumbled towards them. "Lord Isaaru, come quickly!"

Isaaru clutched at Pacce's shoulder. "What is it, Mother?"

"Word from Father Zuke, my lord! He's found Sir Auron down by the Purifico Gate. They're bringing him in now!"

"What? He is...alive?"

"I...I think so. Father Zuke sent for a wagon, so either the guardian's badly wounded, or..."

Pacce choked back a sob. "Was there anyone with him?"

"The message only mentioned Sir Auron."

"Very well. Take us to him." Isaaru lowered his voice as his brother surged ahead. "Pacce, I wish I could affirm your hopes, but I dare not. Sir Auron is cursed with a gift that lets him endure what would kill another. I fear he is alone. Yet at least he may know our brother's fate."

Elma leaned against the doorframe, dripping, casually barring the room. "Thanks, hon. I'll take it from here. If the general wakes, I'll call you, okay?" She snatched the tray from the acolyte and nodded towards the Do Not Disturb tag swinging from the door-handle. "By the way. That isn't a suggestion. If you come back, it'll be for one of three reasons: Juno's orders, Isaaru's orders, or a Sin sighting. Anything else will have to wait. Understood?"

The girl shrank back, wringing her hands. Evidently Elma's reputation as guard dog to Maester Lucil had reached all the way to the lower ranks of the clergy in Bevelle. "Yessir, I mean, yes, ma'am."

Elma pushed the door shut and slammed the bolt with her elbow, stalking back to the bed and setting the tray on the nightstand. "Help yourself," she said, filling both tumblers and setting one within easy reach. Then she crossed the room to a copper tub. The steaming bath had already begun to cool. She picked up an ewer and added more hot water, sloshing the floor with the overflow when she eased back into the tub. Reaching for a sponge, she resumed scrubbing, chattering away as she sloughed off the grime of battle.

"So, where was I? Oh, right. Well, Captain Juno led us back up through the Court of Yevon. We picked up Rikku and Cid on the way out. The palace is in pretty bad shape, ma'am; the tower's collapsed and most of the temple wing's burned. But the Court of Yevon's intact, so hopefully the archives are okay. And no fatalities, that's the important thing. Most of the palace was evacuated before Cid got here.

"Sin was waiting for us right outside. It pulled some funky trick that made everyone see a vision of Lady Yuna. The priests are still yapping about it. Then Sin vanished, and we came here. Juno's gone off to assess the damage and check in with Maester Shelinda at Northgate. The rest of us are on standby. No word yet on Baralai. And...that's the whole story."

Elma looked up, waiting. After a moment she sighed, clambered out of the tub, and toweled herself off. "Dammit. Forgot to ask for a fresh uniform." She slipped back into the Al Bhed garb, now sweaty and bloodstained. It should have been grounds for a jibe, but Lucil still lay staring at the ceiling.

Elma plopped back into the chair by the bed and took her hand. "I can't believe it's only been— what, four days? since we got separated."

There was no reply. Lucil blinked, she breathed: beyond that, she was unresponsive. Sin's toxin, the healers had said, but they had skirted Elma's questions when she reminded them of the general's old injury.

Elma exhaled. "Sorry to start without you, ma'am, but I'm starving. Tell me if you want anything." She selected a rice ball from the tray, wrinkling her nose after popping it in her mouth. "Ugh! What is with the fermented fish glop on everything? I can't wait for us to get back to Luca."

There was a brief lull while she picked over the food the acolyte had delivered. "So. I'm considering whether to head back tomorrow. Yevon willing—" she made a face, catching herself too late— "I could reach Moonflow Village by the end of the week, Luca in ten days. That's a long time for our troops to hang on with both of us MIA, but there's no help for it. Unless I can hitch a ride on that airship when it comes back. Either way, our troops need us, especially with you...here." Her voice frayed. She took a long drink of wine before continuing. "But here's the thing. Isaaru's lost Maroda and Sir Auron. Pacce's not fit for duty. If Isaaru's still determined to take on Sin, he's going to need another guardian. Juno might do it, but she's got all of Bevelle to look after, especially with Maester Baralai missing. So, should I get back to Luca ASAP, or serve as guardian for one more mission?"

A prodigious yawn interrupted her musings. "Oof. Sorry, ma'am. I didn't sleep much on the airship." She sprawled back in the chair. "You know one good thing about finding out that Yevon's a big pile of shoopuf crap? Al Bhed showers. First thing I do after this mess is over: hire one of Cid's smiths and get a shower installed at HQ. It'll be great for your back."

Elma wilted as she began to run low on words, stroking Lucil's wrist with her thumb. "Hey. If I drop off, you poke me, okay?"

There was a faint croak from the bed. "You're out of uniform, Commander."

Elma sat bolt upright, eyes flying open. "I...uh...the sinscales—" She squeezed Lucil's hand, struggling to keep her voice steady. "Reporting for duty, ma'am. Orders?"

Lucil flexed one leg beneath the sheets and then the other, wriggling her toes. Finally she breathed out. "Lord Isaaru is safe?"

"Yes, ma'am. He's here in Yuna's Cloister. Sergeant Wedge and the palace guard are here too, keeping watch."

"Lord Baralai is missing. Lady Shelinda...?"

"Northgate, ma'am. She's been overseeing the city's evacuation, setting up camps on the south rim of the Calm Lands. Captain Juno's gone off to inspect the city and meet with her, so we should get a status report from Shelinda in a few hours."

"Very good. Lock the door."


"Excellent." Lucil raised herself on one elbow, voice firming as she spoke. "I'll need to review your report to fill in what I missed. After Juno returns, we'll confer with her on the city's defenses. We should place the Yocun Crusaders at her disposal for the remainder of the crisis. We'll convene an emergency council session this evening with Lord Isaaru, Captain Juno and Elder Cid. Hopefully we'll have tidings of Maester Baralai by then."

"Yes, ma'am." Elma released her hand and stood, a slight hitch in her salute. "Anything else?"

"Yes." Lucil seized the bottom of her tank top, tugging her towards the bed. "You are officially off-duty. Juno's errand should take at least three hours to complete."

Lucil's legs might be hampered by old injuries, but she had developed upper body strength to compensate. There was a moment's wrestling as she dragged Elma under the covers, playfully jockeying for blankets and pillow, a surfeit of riches compared to a sleeping bag spread on Djose gravel. Elma wound up wedged against her side, clutching Lucil's shoulder, mouth jammed against her own knuckles to bite back laughter that had abruptly turned to sobs. Lucil held her quietly, combing her damp hair.

"Sorry, ma'am," Elma said finally. "I guess overtime finally caught up with me."

"I know." Lucil slipped a finger under her chin and coaxed her to unclench. They drew together in a lingering kiss that was almost a match for one three years earlier, when Elma had vowed to carry Lucil until she could walk again.

Elma snuggled against her, drowsy and plaintive. "Hey...didn't you order me to report to you for debriefing after the operation was over?"

"Tonight." Lucil smiled, lips curling against the younger woman's cheek. "You need a few hours' rest, Commander. Otherwise, I'm not sure you'll last through a full session. Sleep now."

Next Chapter: The Council of Yevon
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( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 14th, 2009 01:53 pm (UTC)
Following this through ff_press, and the concept of this fic is fantastic! I've always been a fan of Elma and Isaaru and Pacce. I also enjoy how you slip minor characters in here seamlessly, so that it almost seems like part of the game.
Sep. 14th, 2009 02:55 pm (UTC)
Yay! A new reader!
Yeah, it started out as a shipfic loooooong ago, then as I started following the story and all its ramifications -- especially after early readers encouraged me to bring in the Crimson Squad -- it turned into something like the real game, with a cast of dozens.

Except wouldn't you know it, Elma started out as a minor character I hadn't planned on keeping throughout the story (much like the Father Zuke cameo)...and she managed to slip in another 'ship story arc.

I'm so glad you just jumped in and weren't daunted by the number of chapters. :)
The one thing you may have missed, because of the name change: Juno is actually Paine.

Edited at 2009-09-14 03:00 pm (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
Sep. 14th, 2009 10:57 pm (UTC)
See, you helped there too.
I needed to balance out the "aha, that character wasn't dead after all!" with a substantial character death.

So much of this story has been "solved" (usually inadvertently) through reader comments!

As for the toxin... Lucil was not only injured and lacking medical treatment for 3 days, she was also dealing with (or failing to deal with) the pain of being responsible for several Crusader deaths including Elma's. At least, she thought Elma was dead. Being catatonic was probably a mercy!
Sep. 14th, 2009 11:19 pm (UTC)
Aww, that ending is wonderful. :-)
Sep. 17th, 2009 04:17 pm (UTC)
Sorry about the late response. RL can be mean sometimes. Poor Auron. He's like a Timex watch; he takes a likkin' and keeps on tikkin'...

Although there are times, I suppose, when he just wants to stop and sit for a bit, and I can't really blame him.

Poor Isaaru and Pacce are going to have to learn to live with the loss of Maroda. They've been a trio for so long now, and Pacce, in particular, is going to have a lot of emotional baggage to deal with.

And, talk about celebrating life in the midst of death and despair, Lucil and Elma... :D

That was truly sweet...

Sep. 17th, 2009 04:46 pm (UTC)
Heh, thanks...

Comments are golden, whenever they arrive. We all have real lives. :)

And I hope that Lucil/Elma scene wasn't too gratuitous. It's hard to stop and have a "happy happy joy joy" scene when someone's just gotten killed!

On the other hand, Elma helped provide a useful plot summary, so I don't have to have quite so much "getting Lucil up to speed" in the next chapter.
Sep. 24th, 2009 07:43 pm (UTC)
Lulu's really giving them a time, eh?

Your hallucination imagery works really well here -- powerful, seamless, evocative, and uncanny. Zuke! You really are bringing back the whole cast, hah. I'm a little confused about what happened to Auron near the end of the scene -- was Zuke forced to thundaga, or did he just...tip over?

Isaaru, Pacce. They're in for a world of grief. I'd imagine it's not particularly common for three brothers to survive so long together relatively unscathed in Spira. And now...poor dudes.

Nice subtle bit of Paine and Nooj's relationship, too.

And the Elma and Lucil reunion, finally! Is Elma going to take a more background role now? I'll miss her, hah. But it's a good and comfortable place to leave her.
Sep. 25th, 2009 01:35 am (UTC)
Nah, Elma isn't going away; she butted her way into this story and will have at least one more important role to play later on.

Auron keeled over. Zuke's cura healed about 70% of the physical damage, but between blood loss, staying up for two days, and yanking himself back from the Farplane by pure cussedness, Auron's exhausted.

I think I was too vague.

That moment was vaguely inspired by something that happened to me once. I used to faint from low blood pressure. The most infamous episode was when I literally fell on my sword: I leaned down to take it out of my duffle bag, intending to show it off to some friends, and passed out!

My description was therefore based on personal experience, but in this case personal experience does not provide a very clear picture of what's happening!

Edited at 2009-09-25 01:37 am (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
Nov. 1st, 2009 09:49 pm (UTC)
Lulu's got a ton of mixed messages in her "pyrefly theater" dramatizations of Yuna's life: her own feelings of love and despair for Yuna (loved her, but couldn't save her), her anger at Yevon for sacrificing Yuna, and -- as Auron suspects -- a wish to turn Yuna into a people's saint.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
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