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Love Her and Despair (33)

Title: Love Her and Despair
Chapter 33: Via Purifico
Final Fantasy X/X-2
Characters: Auron, Isaaru, Maroda, Pacce, Shuyin, Sin
PG-13 (Language)
Word Count: 2100
Navigation: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Map of Pilgrimage - Links to All Chapters

Our Story So Far: Baralai has found an ancient weapon that may be enough to end Sin— but also Spira. Before they face Sin, however, Isaaru and his guardians must finish off Shuyin.

A/N: So tempted to name this chapter "The Bridge at Z'ha'dum."

Vegnagun had vanished, taking with it almost all light and sound. In the hollow silence, two distant splashes offered bleak testimony to ears that strained to hear. The only remaining illumination came from the elevator's lights and a swarm of pyreflies left behind, drifting hungrily towards the remaining combatants.

The fight had ebbed but not ended. Juno and Elma had Pacce pinned to the deck. He fought back in a snarling frenzy, thrashing and biting their arms. Nooj, meanwhile, had picked up Juno's sword and was limping towards them, using it as a crutch. He balked at the edge of the pyrefly cloud, taking a deep breath before wading in.

On the far end of the bridge, Isaaru kept lonely vigil. Weeping as he prayed, he was dancing for both the fallen and the foe.

Shuyin's madness was spreading. Juno, kneeling on Pacce's chest, suddenly bent forward to wrap her gauntlets around his throat. Elma moved to stop her, but somehow wound up grabbing the younger woman's helm, twisting it like a cork. Pacce redoubled his efforts, flailing at Elma's unprotected eyes with his fingers curled into claws. All three were sucking in pyreflies with every breath.

Nooj had reached them now. "Don't listen," he snapped. "Elma. Juno. Focus. Think of something you love. Shuyin's trying to control you."

Elma let go with a gasp. "Son of a—!"

Her oath was cut short by Juno's mailed elbow punching her in the face. She crumpled with a yelp, clapping her hands over her nose.

Taking advantage of their distraction, Shuyin gave a violent heave and broke free. Pyreflies streamed from his shoulders as he snatched up his sword and charged towards his brother.

"Dammit!" Cupping her nose with one hand, Elma swiped at empty air. "Sir! Watch out!"

For a moment Isaaru seemed unaware, twirling in a sluggish dance that mimicked the lazy arcs of the pyreflies. Then he raised his hand. "In Yevon's name," he said with strained conviction, "You will release my brother. Begone. You have no place in Spira!"

Pacce stumbled, hunkering down with fists clenched and head lowered. "Yevon? That old conjurer won't help you." He took another menacing step forward. "You've been praying to a lie, summoner."

Juno had caught up with Pacce. She gripped his hand and wrist, wrenching his sword away.

"Faith is no lie." Isaaru drew dignity about himself like a cloak and began to dance again, wet cheeks gleaming under the pyreflies. "What kind of a man were you, Shuyin, that you would destroy the world for love?" His voice rose and fell, swinging between bitter anger and quiet, gentle sorrow. "What kind of a woman was she, to deserve such a memorial? Would she take joy in causing a lover's betrayal? Daughter's blood on father's hands? Brother turned against brother? Was Lenne such a monster, to condone such cruelty?"

"No!" Pacce was trembling now, barely struggling when Juno pinned his arms behind him. Pyreflies boiled upwards like clouds of steam. "Lenne gave her heart to the world, and it betrayed her!"

"And you honor her love with hate?" Isaaru kept spinning, his gestures growing more emphatic. Yet his voice changed from stern to coaxing, swelling with sudden warmth. "Pacce. Believe in yourself. I still do."

Pacce shuddered, tears starting in his eyes. "I c-can't."

"Yes, you can, kiddo." Elma, still covering her face with her hand, limped towards him. "Nobody could fight Shuyin alone: not Elder Cid, not us, not anybody. It wasn't your fault you couldn't. But Isaaru's here now. He's the best summoner around, eh? He can kick this guy's ass."

A luminous form began to emerge from the young man's body: taller, leaner, a golden figure advancing on Isaaru with drawn sword. Shuyin was growing more transparent with every step, but still he came.

Juno released Pacce and started forward, although the battle was squarely in the summoner's hands now. But before she could overtake Shuyin, a second glowing figure coalesced in front of Isaaru. A slender woman stood there with arms outstretched, barring Shuyin's path. Her clothes were of a style unknown to them, a short ruffled dress of sparkling blue.

"You must stop!" she said.

"Lenne?" Shuyin froze. "Lenne. Is it really you?"

"You called me, Shuyin. I am here."

"But I searched. I searched for so long—"

"Shuyin, it's time to rest. Leave vengeance to the Lady."

Isaaru, still performing the sending dance, lost a step to astonishment. He stared doubtfully at the drifting lights cloaking the woman, wafting up from the depths. Something rumbled far below, a hair-raising groan at the edge of hearing.

"They deserve it," Shuyin said. "They—"

"I wrote a song for you, Shuyin." She smiled and stepped forward, drawing him into her arms. "Maybe you've heard it. Listen." Soft and low, she began to purr into his ear. "Ieyui nobomeno..."

Pyreflies converged on the pair as they embraced. Unearthly cries on the edge of hearing merged into the Hymn of the Fayth. The lovers faded one pyrefly at a time, waning into darkness. Isaaru brought his hands together to seal the ritual and fell to his knees.

Hurrying over, Juno offered him a hand up with a gruff, "Isaaru, I'm sorry."

Pacce was sobbing on Elma's shoulder. As Isaaru started towards him, a dim shape of light and shadow caught his attention. Another figure stood where Shuyin and Lenne had been a moment before, head bowed, hands folded. This woman had fuller curves, darker hair, bone-pale skin, a long black gown that fell to her feet.

"Milady?" he said, dazed.

The stranger raised a finger to her lips, then turned and glided away, pyreflies in her train. The others seemed oblivious to her presence. Isaaru gave a cry when she reached Pacce and planted a light kiss on his forehead. Then she was gone.

Far below, two warriors sank through a void with pyreflies for stars. The second was no more than a faint silhouette. The first was substantial, not yet reconciled to his condition, and raged in silent denial of the nothingness they had become.

Dammit. You know, if Isaaru hadn't been sending Shuyin, someone coulda slapped me with a phoenix down.

...Or not, I guess. What the hell did you have to go and drop me for?

Uh...right. 'No comment,' eh? Death hasn't changed you a bit. Speaking of which, what're you doing here? I'm the one with the great big hole in my gut.

Oh, no. Don't tell me.
That's what you were hiding? And the sending got you, too? Jeez, man. I don't know what to say.

...Idiot, maybe. Wasn't sending Shuyin your clever plan? And now Isaaru's short two guardians.

Poor Pacce. He's gonna be a complete wreck.

So...um...hey. You're unsent, right? You pulled it off once already. So why can't we
both go back? It's just killin' me, leaving 'em like this.

A woman's voice cut through the one-sided conversation: "All you need is determination."

Huh? I'm pretty damned sure I don't want to die, lady!

"None of us wants to die. But existence is more than negating a negative. What is it you cannot forsake? What drives you, warrior, that you would endure a waking death, forgoing the Farplane's peace?"

My brothers! I've got to get back to them. This totally sucks, you know?

"Such bonds may be strong. But they are not you. Who are you? What is you?"

Huh? Who are you, for that matter?

"One who exists on the boundary between life and death. The living fear me. The dead ride me."

Whatever. Look, lady, just show me the way—

"As you wish. But for you, the path goes only one way."

In the uttermost depths of the Via Purifico, two corpses struck water hard enough to fracture bones. One kept falling.

The other was not so lucky.

Auron awoke on black sand. His eyes were closed, but still he recognized where he lay. Those coarse, glassy grains radiated sunlight like a furnace, burning anyone foolish enough to dare the beach in bare feet. The air held an iron tang that told him that he was home, truly home, lying at the foot of high, faceted crags weathered red by rain and wind. The voice of waterfalls and pounding surf met together on the toes of old lava. He had forgotten that sound. The burdens of the past forty-five years had driven out all memories of of earliest childhood. But the intervening time had slipped away from him, and this was all he had left.

Fire and water had fought here, spawned burgeoning life in the fertile soil that covered older parts of the island. A fatalistic people had made the volcano their goddess for centuries, content with what she gave them, enduring when she took back the gift. But Sin had finally put an end to their covenant. The few survivors fled to Yevon, some adopting other islands, a handful reaching the mainland. They still bore the marks that set them apart, although Yevon had stamped out the lore behind them: eyes the rust color of old lava, black hair that turned ashen gray, sometimes even in youth.

He had returned home only once during warrior monk's training, fighting fiends that might have been his kin.

He could no longer remember the island's name. Then again, he could no longer remember his own.

One odor did not fit: a hint of lilac. Someone was bustling about him, composing his limbs in the manner of portraits on old Crusader coffins. His hands were crossed over the hilt of his sword, laid lengthwise along his body. His faithful jug of nog was placed at his feet. Thorny brambles and salt-stiffened leaves prickled his bare arm. His head rested against a boulder of basalt.

There was a crackling, sizzling sound like red-hot metal splitting cold stone.

Auron lurched, thrusting his left hand upwards. His knuckles scraped the headstone. The searing heat etching its surface branded his palm instead. Pain jarred him fully awake.

"You'd give up on me?" he snarled.

Agony eased as a layer of ice flowed between his palm and the smaller hand pressed against it. "Never in a thousand years, Auron. But I do not hold you to your oaths. You do."

Auron sat up, painfully aware of every aching, bleeding limb, countless breaks and fragments of bone within. He withdrew his hand and wrapped it around his sword-hilt, clutching it as an anchor. The rich greens, reds and blacks of his birthplace faded away. He found himself back in Sin's garden, the ghost of Djose's shore. The only trace of his childhood home was the spray of ohia berries spilling over the black pillow of lava behind him, its surface unmarked. All around him stretched Lulu's overgrown bower: roses and Macalania trees, orchids and moon lilies, driftwood and skulls and the endless teeth of tombstones.

He glanced down at his hand. Freshly blackened skin was branded with two glyphs, the signs of his own name. "Thanks."

There was a rustle of skirts as she settled beside him, not touching now. "You almost forgot yourself. That boy—"

"Was it Tidus?"

"No. An angry echo of an ancient war. Or rather...Tidus was the echo. Perhaps Lenne's love graced him with more nobility than the man he mirrored."

"Zanarkand." The word was a curse, a dismissal.

"Yes. Zanarkand." Her voice sharpened. "Yu Yevon is very curious what is going on in Bevelle."

"More echoes. We may have an answer for you, Lulu."

Her breath caught. "You have a surprise for me? How thoughtful!" Coquettish speech was foreign to her; the implicit warning was clear.

Auron had been struggling to avoid looking her way. Lulu remained a precipice, and his grip on his sword and his name was tenuous at best. But her indrawn breath drew his attention.


The brambles had begun to grow around her arms, her neck, intertwining with her braids and belts. There were too many of them. As he took hold of the briar tightening around her throat, it transformed into barbed metal, digging into her skin. She averted her eyes, abandoning the pretense of speech. I think you had better go. Her lips twisted into an impish smile. I believe I have annoyed him.

Auron growled in frustration. "Don't take risks, Lulu. Put me down."

Another belt was unfurling across her face, covering her eyes. Are you sure you want to go on? Others can write my story, you know.

"No," he said to both statements. "Lulu, hurry."

Very well. Soft lips brushed his cheek.

The vision of Sin's garden tore like cobwebs, catapulting him back into a body that was screaming with pain in so many places he barely noticed his burnt hand. He found himself lying in a shallow, stinking puddle at the mouth of a sewage pipe. Blood stained the fetid water the color of rust. A gentle, quiet drizzle was falling upon the smoldering city in the gray dawn.

As he groaned and rolled over, her voice came to him in the susurrus of the rain. I'll see you soon, Auron. Tell Zaon when you're ready.

Next Chapter: Yuna's Cloister
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( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 31st, 2009 04:15 pm (UTC)
Nice way to re-envision the Shuyin sending without repeating it. I also really adore the one-sided conversation among the dead, and Maroda trying to negotiate with someone (Lulu?) to come back as Unsent.

I like this vision of Auron's backstory, too -- there must be an entire archipelago of lightly populated islands we never see.
Aug. 31st, 2009 05:20 pm (UTC)
Yep, Lulu. I wonder if I should make Lulu's presence more explicit, or leave it vague. She keeps sneaking into the role of psychopomp in this story.

Auron couldn't remember the island's name because it only has one name in my headcanon: "The Island of the Cranky Stoics."

Edited at 2009-08-31 05:21 pm (UTC)
Aug. 31st, 2009 09:48 pm (UTC)
General question to readers
Did Shuyin's sending seem rushed? One of my commenters on FF.net thought so: especially Lenne's appearance. I meant to imply Isaaru's ritual had just about done the job before "she" showed up, but maybe I didn't succeed.

Mind you, I'm not entirely sure that was Lenne. I left it vague for a reason. But maybe the vagueness made the emotional impact and story logic too vague.
(Deleted comment)
Sep. 1st, 2009 07:10 pm (UTC)
Re: General question to readers
A lot of my story was a violent reaction to what was done with Isaaru in X-2. It was a logical character arc progression, but the result was dreadful. I wanted the old, heroic Isaaru to redeem himself for that scene in FFX where Mika manipulated him into fighting Yuna in the Via Purifico.
(Deleted comment)
Sep. 1st, 2009 08:36 pm (UTC)
Re: General question to readers
FFX's plot twist of having Isaaru fight Yuna worked for me: it demonstrated just how evil and insidious Yevon was, tricking decent people into doing wrong.

it was the whole summoner problem in a nutshell: summoners were (generally) good-hearted people sacrificing their talents and lives for Spira, not realizing that Yevon/Yu Yevon was exploiting them to preserve Yevon AND Sin for entirely selfish reasons.

And I like it when not all one's opponents are black-and-white Pure Evil. Isaaru had been duped. He thought he was fighting someone who was harmful to Yevon. He was upset when the "traitor" turned out to be Yuna, and was clearly relieved when he lost (or at least, he was awfully quick to direct them to the exit).

So that whole story arc worked: the mini-tragedy of Isaaru.

It was partly resolved by game's end: if you go back to Bevelle before finishing off Sin, Maroda and Pacce are there guarding the citadel. Maroda testily explains that Isaaru has taken a break from his pilgrimage again to help settle the chaos in Bevelle. (Maroda kept fussing through the whole game about how Isaaru was taking too many detours, always stopping to deal with this or that problem.)

It was just sad and demeaning seeing Isaaru trying to cling to a sham version of his dream (his pilgrimage to Zanarkand) in the sequel. Not entirely implausible, but so depressing.

Edited at 2009-09-01 08:41 pm (UTC)
Sep. 1st, 2009 01:35 am (UTC)
Ah ha, I knew we'd be getting a Lulu scene again. Yay. Haunting, lovely, scary chapter.

Poor Isaaru.

Poor Maroda.

Poor Lulu.

Poor Auron.

Poor Chapter. Which really deserves a better review but it's been a long day, and if I don't do it now I'll never get around to it.

But it was really nice to wake up to this morning.
Sep. 1st, 2009 04:31 pm (UTC)
I had to wait a bit to let my thoughts settle some...
This was incredible. Utterly incredible...

And Maroda's dead too. Auron's gonna have to be extra strong for Isaaru and Pacce now. At least Shuyin is dealt with.

Now it's just all the other things that have to be dealt with, the Maesters, and the politics that go with that. Are Mika and Kinoc still alive?

As for Auron, I wonder where the island he came from is. Was it ever mentioned at all in the games?

He very nearly lost it this time. Glad he didn't. And I'm sure Lulu is glad too.

Sep. 1st, 2009 06:49 pm (UTC)
Re: I had to wait a bit to let my thoughts settle some...
There's no mention of Auron's home, family or childhood in the game. I've had it in my head canon for a while that he, Lulu and Paine are remnants of some nearly-extinct group of people with red eyes and silver/black hair, even though I know good and well the similarities are more due to anime's habit of using eye color and hair color to indicate personality. (I.e. Watch out for the Evil Guy with the Long Silver Blue Hair.)

Kinoc is dead; my timeline diverges from the FFX game storyline during the Seymour boss battle on Gagazet. There's a moment in the game where it looks like Tidus could get killed. In my story, he did. Kinoc's death happened long before that.

Mika's departure did NOT. That is still a minor unresolved plot thread in my tale which should come out sooner rather than later.

Edited at 2009-09-01 06:57 pm (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
Nov. 1st, 2009 09:16 pm (UTC)
Oh. I didn't think about the fact that Lulu's apparition meant she's stepped outside Sin.

Sin was actually underneath them at that point. Remember the flooded part of the Via Purifico in FFX, where Wakka, Rikku and Tidus fight the zombie Evrae dragon thing? My idea is that Lulu "parked" Sin down there, about 30 stories under Vegnagun's "garage," which is how Auron and Maroda encountered her when they fell.

My thought was that Lulu was projecting herself a few hundred feet away using pyreflies, the way Bahamut's fayth can wander a little away from his statue.

One thing I have not resolved, and left vague. I had two conflicting ideas about the Lenne cameo.

Theorem: Sin is a bridge to the Farplane. In the game, we hear that Auron being dead allows him to ride Sin. We also see a vision in the Operation Mi'ihen aftermath of Gatta or Luzzu, as well as many dead Crusaders, running around inside Sin. The setting is a strange glade of dark trees and crystal which shows up during the endgame as the setting of that annoying "grab 10 crystals" minigame. To me, that implies that Sin is like Anubis, a psychopomp, with the space inside it existing as a bubble halfway between living reality and the Farplane, whatever that is.

So with Lenne, I had two ideas:

1. Lenne was watching Shuyin from the Farplane, and Lulu let her "ride" Sin back to Spira so she could address him. Lulu was acting very much like Anubis, a psychopomp (or, in silly terms, a taxi driver).

2. It was a trick, like the Songstress Dressphere. My Lulu has been using pyreflies to project memories -- hers, until now, whence the large-scale visions of Yuna to dazzle the masses. But could she have latched onto Shuyin's memories and pain to project exactly what he wanted to see? Was it Lenne? Or was it Lulu pretending to be her?

I think I've settled on option #1, but I've left it ambiguous.

Lenne writing the Hymn: is not canon. We know she was an accomplished singer, and we know that the Wall of the Fayth was singing it when Bevelle's armies got there. It seemed like a fun idea to make Lenne its author.

About Sin helping the unsent return from death: I don't think she can give anything to anyone to make them unsent. I think, rather, since she stands on the cusp between life and death, she can show them the paths connecting the two. But the dead person has to choose the path, step through the doors she holds open.

If the person has a strong enough sense of self, a driving goal and purpose, the door he steps through is Spira, and he's unsent. Otherwise, he steps off and is in the Farplane.

With both Maroda and Auron, Lulu was asking leading questions -- or, in Auron's case, trying to remind him -- to help them discover for themselves whether they still had an unsent's reason for being, or not.

Edited at 2009-11-01 09:36 pm (UTC)
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
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