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Kingdom Hearts Crack

I'd been avoiding the Kingdom Hearts series for years because I was pained by the idea of Auron being condemned to the same universe as Disney characters and forced to interact with Donald Duck without beheading him. Not only that, but they took away his jug of alcohol. Poor guy can't get a break.

However, after apparently losing my cat Sunday (after several hours of panicked search, she turned up under a piece of furniture in Hide Mode) I needed something brainless. So I grabbed KH2.

Very mild spoilers, since I'm not that far into the game:

1) The Disney stuff is apparently not quite as appalling as I'd feared, because like so many Americans I was brainwashed by Disney as a child into feeling intense nostalgia whenever familiar Disney film snippets and images pop up. Scary. Truly scary. I didn't realize quite how many Disney films I'd seen.

2) Especially after the slickly-packaged Disney worlds and the Planet of the Old Final Fantasy Characters Retirement Home, I was utterly, totally, and completely slain by the b&w Steamboat Willie world. I was cackling like a goon at the sound effects, visuals, and cartoon physics from a bygone era. All the other worlds pale in comparison to the sheer random WTF?!!! of a good old black-and-white 1930s cartoon. In fact, the designers should have dispensed with any semblance of game-related plot whatsoever and just thrown together a bunch of random head-trippy minigames based on various ancient cartoons.

I'd forgotten how much I liked the sound of manic mice running up and down on harpsichords.

I also like Mickey Mouse better silent. He's charmingly simple, instead of gratingly annoying.

No spoilers, please, past Timeless River, even if I've picked up certain spoilers here and there from fandom.

I'm glad that Square-Enix took a little dig at Disney by sneaking in Auron's jug o' firewater as a tiny charm on one of Sora's weapons.


( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 15th, 2008 04:39 am (UTC)
Come to the daaaaaaarkness...I need more people for my classics-geek-KH-fen cabal. I'll bribe you with tragic villains?
Aug. 15th, 2008 05:07 am (UTC)
Being a huge KH fan I have to squee that you are trying out the game.

The Disney stuff definitely is not that horrible. I love all the old-school Disney movies so I feel nothing but pure joy. You should have seen me when I realized there was going to be a 'Beauty and the Beast' world. I literally flipped out. (fave. disney movie evar).

Mickey and friends are pretty badass in KH I must say. There really isn't enough love for Donald and Goofy (who are so freaking important! The fandom acts like they never existed wtf?!).

Omg isn't Aerith and Cid's voice acting horrific?? >.>" I even hate to say this but Mandy Moore actually did a much better job in the first KH as Aerith.

And lastly (and I'll shut up): Pete/Malificent OTP y/y!?
Aug. 16th, 2008 08:36 pm (UTC)
I'm not sure about Pete/Malificent, but I am sure that Aerith's voice actress was FAIL.

A lot fewer FAILS than in FFX, though. Which made it all the more glaring!
Aug. 17th, 2008 04:30 am (UTC)
Auron, Lulu, and Rikku's voices were probably my favorite of FFX.

I did a serious jaw-drop when I finally heard Seymour's japanese voice. It just sounds so DEEP, intimidating, and creepy in the JP version I'm just like "Wtf went wrong guyz?" when it comes to the English version. I'm sure there are several 180's when it comes to other characters. I also prefer Tidus' japanese VA as well.
Aug. 17th, 2008 05:22 am (UTC)
Elma's marvellous seiyu was the biggest shock to me (and I agree about Seymour; he's utterly charismatic in Japanese, whereas he comes off a bit smarmy in he dub). She's a minor character, but it still bugs me, because the character is almost totally lost in the American version.

In the Japanese version, Elma sounds like a brash, eager, and highly-caffeinated very young officer utterly determined to make a good impression. "Yes, sir! Right this way, milady! Stand up straight, soldier; we must impress Captain Lucil *idol worship*!" The Gatta/Luzzu and Elma/Lucil dynamics are minor, but they establish the Crusaders as people rather than figures, and by extension represent the people of Spira that you're trying to to protect throughout the game.

Lucil's is better too, but the contrast isn't quite as great.

That was the main reason I got that awful bootleg with the strange subtitles -- the quality is poor, but at least now I know what everyone sounded like in the original.

I love Wakka in both versions, slightly prefer Lulu's Japanese voice, and prefer Auron's English dub (one of the few).
Aug. 15th, 2008 02:03 pm (UTC)
I don't think I could ever face KH2 after giving up on the original because I was tired of looking up Goofy's nostrils every time the camera spazzed and because the helpless princess theme grated my nerves (though not nearly as much as FF12 grated and sauteed my nerves, I admit). But reading your amusement is pretty entertaining.
Aug. 16th, 2008 08:33 pm (UTC)
The camera and many aspects of gameplay were apparently HUGELY revamped in KH2, and there's less helpless princess.

The thing that's amusing me most is Square doing a sort of parody of itself and Disney in places.

However, there are parts that would make you want to hurl the controller. Fewer than in KH1, I think, because it doesn't have the "princesses in distress" angle. In fact the central plot is "we must find and rescue Riku!" But still... it's Square plus Disney, with all their strengths and flaws.

Edited at 2008-08-17 05:26 am (UTC)
Aug. 15th, 2008 02:25 pm (UTC)
I enjoyed both KH games much more than I thought I would, and I love the villains in the series. They make me happy.
Aug. 15th, 2008 02:36 pm (UTC)
I love KHII. Disney nostalgia = win. My favourite world is the Pride Lands, but Timeless River comes close.
Aug. 15th, 2008 03:02 pm (UTC)
I've been tempted to get the game... maybe I will...
Aug. 16th, 2008 08:35 pm (UTC)
I think you'd enjoy it.
Aug. 15th, 2008 04:34 pm (UTC)
The Disney and Square stuff melded surprisingly well. The way they handled Auron was so perfect, I didn't even mind the loss of the jug. And I agree, Timeless River was delightful.

I'm glad you decided to give it a shot! I look forward to seeing what you think of the rest.
Aug. 16th, 2008 08:35 pm (UTC)
I'd seen all the video clips of Auron already, so I had massive spoilers for that, but now in playing through I'm getting his text-only one-liners as well.

He is, somehow, true to form, even in the head trip world he's landed in.

I love his surly comments about "some idiot."
Aug. 16th, 2008 06:17 am (UTC)
Kingdom Hearts (1 AND 2 both) are amazing games! I was very skeptical of the Disney stuff when I first played 1, but I was very happy with it! :) I just recently finished KH2 and loved loved LOVED it. It's one of my favorite games of all time now. :)
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
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